Autumn offers valuable insights into life’s changes.

Autumn Leaves (chulmin1700)

Post by Juan Castro

Get ready, because Autumn is here again. Let’s get ready for sweater weather, UGG boots, and cozy coffee shop visits for peppermint mochas and cranberry scones. For many, this season is a time of flourishing and embracing life - myself included. It is the best time of the year. What’s not to love: pumpkin delicacies, eggnog, cooler weather and feasts galore? Change can be a beautiful thing in the human experience, and this serves as a reminder.

In life, the winds of change can bring with it happiness and fullness to our lives. I imagine the couple happily welcoming their long-awaited baby, lifting them up like Simba in The Lion King. A young individual who is breaking new ground by earning a college degree in their family. The couple who meet on a dating app and find their life partner. The positive changes take place all around and for that we give thanks.

With all of its wonder, fall has its drawbacks for many people. For starters, the time change diminishes the time we get to enjoy the sun on our face. Undoubtedly, the cooler weather is a reprieve after a scorching summer. But Autumn, with all of its wonder, bestows on us some unpleasant changes. For instance, the increase in colds and flu wreaks havoc on our wellbeing. Change can evoke both positive and negative emotions. When analyzing the example of the soon-to-be parents, their excitement is intertwined with the nerves of becoming parents for the first time. So we welcome you, Autumn, but with mixed feelings of what you bring.

At other times, changes in our lives are difficult and heart wrenching. It may feel like being tossed by a rogue wave brought forth by the relentless power of the ocean. A medical prognosis shatters a person’s expectations of the future. The phrase “we need to talk” becomes painful for the person deeply in love when their relationship falls apart. The pain of observing the empty chair during Thanksgiving when your heart cries for the person to be there just for one more holiday. Other chaotic life events can include financial insecurity, job loss, downsizing, strained relationships, and relocation, among others.

So many changes can make our heads spin? How do we respond? Here are some helpful responses which may prove helpful. If the changes are positive, we rejoice and give thanks! If the changes evoke both wonder and anxiety, we learn to ride the rollercoaster of emotions with patience and self-compassion. What if the changes are life shattering? What if the changes disoriented us and we feel crushed beneath the weight of the plethora of emotions?

We give ourselves space and permission to lament the changes we did not ask for. Lament is a word seldom used in our culture. Instead, we hear platitudes like, “everything happens for a reason” or “hey, at least (fill the blank).” Change is hard, and it’s okay not to be okay sometimes. Change can leave deep wounds. Despite our wounds, we can still find meaning and pleasure in living. A quote by Shira Tamir beautifully illustrates that wonder is possible even after loss and pain, “Anyone who thinks fallen leaves are dead has never watched them dancing on a windy day.”